“You get out of life what you put into it.” Clint Eastwood
What you get out of life, whether as fun, relationships or satisfaction, is mainly determined by what you put in. So life is an investment process.
You’re in the driver’s seat. Your doctor, partner, coach, teacher, employer and community are vital resources, but the final decisions are up to you.
There is no right way, merely options you identify, choices you make and your belief in your ability to grow. When you invest effectively (whether in yourself or in your relationships) the rewards can last and can continue to grow for a lifetime. Those lifelong rewards can also be much bigger and across many more dimensions than you might anticipate.
There are likely to be inherent and ongoing tensions between your “professional” ambitions and your “lifestyle” aspirations, and also between your capacity to be in-the-moment and your planning for the long term. So, reflect on the life you want to lead and the next step, big or small, which could take you closer to it.
You can’t control life, but you can significantly influence it and you can decide how you respond to it. When things don’t go in your favour, you have a choice – to feel and act like a victim or to stay in the driver’s seat.
Are your options and your world growing or shrinking?
Even when you’re stuck in a rut, on a treadmill or in chaos, there are opportunities and choices, small and large, which can vastly impact the quality and creativity of your life.
Your chances of finding those good opportunities and making the right choices are significantly determined by your mindsets, especially the presumptions you make about yourself. Positive mindsets inevitably grow your options and your world; negative mindsets shrink them.
Mindsets which shrink your world
“I like to stay in my comfort zone”
“I’m not good enough.”
“Nobody’s interested in my ideas.”
“My community sucks.”
“I don’t feel like going to the party.”
“Time with others tires me.”
“I’ll wait for other to do something.”
“I can’t get over……”
“Life as I’ve known it ends at 50.”
“I hate change.”
Mindsets which grow your world
“I like to try something new” v
“I can do it.” v
“I’ve got something to offer here.” v
“What can I add to my community?” v
“Let’s party.” v
“People invigorate me.” v
“Let’s do it.” v
“Let’s look forward and move on.” v
“I’m turning 50 – let’s celebrate.” v
“Change means growth. Embrace it.” v
Typically, those with mindsets which grow their options and their worlds conclude “I’ll put in the effort.” They have the confidence that in general their investment of effort will be rewarded. Those with the alternative mindsets won’t envisage a return on their investment and typically conclude, “I can’t be bothered.”
In contemplating your next investment in the life you want to lead, it may be worth taking a moment to:
Ask yourself:
Do I see myself as being in the driver’s seat in my own life? Or am I depending on someone else to an unhealthy degree?
How am I currently imagining my future world? Am I seeing it as growing or shrinking? Am I willing to invest significant time, attention and energy (physical, mental or emotional) in building it? If so, how and where do I find more of those resources?
If I’m seeing parts of it shrinking, are they parts I’m happy to see shrink? If I’m seeing parts of it grow, are they the parts I would like to see grow?
Are there things which are important to who I am, yet I am badly neglecting them?
What might be some new contexts I would like to explore or experiment with?
Covid-19 Addendum
Even in normal circumstances the passage of time can shrink your world unless you take conscious action to expand it. Unless you use and update your knowledge, you lose it. Unless you follow up on relationships and refresh them, they slowly die. Unless you open yourself to new ideas, experiences and relationships, your world shrinks.
Self-isolation and lockdown in response to Covid-19 are likely to have increased the risk of your world shrinking. Some of your most significant sources of new experiences and new relationships have been totally cut off, from sport or the arts to partying, to travel or even moving overseas. It has also been an anxious and challenging time for many people, especially those for whom it has been tough just staying above water mentally and financially. When things around you open up, it might be the perfect time for exploring new and exciting avenues. Questions you might contemplate include:
Who can I connect with that I haven’t spoken to for a long time?
What new thing can I try this week that may give me a sense of joy and wonder and may be worth pursuing further?
What have I been precluded from during lockdown that is now accessible and will bring me joy and rejuvenation?
What helpful or worthwhile thing can I do for someone else now that the options for engaging have opened up?
